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December 06, 2007



I have basically been home with my 3 youngest at least part time. For a while I only worked on the weekends and spent the whole week with them. To be honest I struggle with both roles. When I am home I have so much to do that didn't get doen while I was working that I feel I can't devote enough attention to them. I'm tired and grumpy because I'm overwhelmed. Then when I go to work I miss them and feel guilty. Don't get me wrong-I am a feminist at heart...but I think the womens lib. movement kinda stuck it to us. Now most of us HAVE to work and still are expected to do full time mom work too. It's just exhausting.


I so wish I could be a SAHM. I truely feel that it is my calling in life to be a mother. However, financially it's just not in the cards right now. It's comforting that my guy goes to my sister's house every day but I still wish I were home with him. I have a hard time juggling everything.....the baby, the house, work, my husband, EVERYTHING! I know staying home is no picnic and that some days I'd probably want to run right back to my job!
I want nothing more than to be home though, be a mother, and be a good wife. I don't feel as though I have anything to prove in the working world. I wne to college. I have a degree. And I have skills. But every day at work, my mind is else where.
I think if I were a SAHM it would be very imporatant to have a good network of other mothers to be able to do stuff with to break up the days at home.
I think I got off topic. Sorry.


I have thought about being a SAHM, but I don't know if I could do it. I don't think it's the being home all day issue, its the money. I enjoy having my own money. I wouldn't feel right not working at least part time. I happen to make a decent middle class income with my daughter only having to go to day care for 5 hours at the most 4 days a week. I think it gives her a chance to play with other kids and she seems to enjoy it. I'm more heartbroken on days when I have to drop her off than she is. We happen to be lucky in the shifts we work that my husband has her in the morning and I pick her up in the afternoon, while still having evenings as a family. I considered going to 3rd shift, but is never seeing my husband worth 20 hrs of daycare a week. If my husband made twice of what he makes it would be a different story. I have heard the argument, you just learn to live without, but I guess I'm selfish in I don't want to live without.
I agree that if we had a year off in the US it would be a lot different. I hated being back at work after 8 weeks.
I personally don't think either way is necessarily better or worse. I think as long as the kids grow up happy and know they are loved is what is important.

kristi sauer

I think in my perfect world, I would like to do both part-time :) I love working...I guess I just need to decide whose kids drive me more crazy...mine or other peoples'!! Since I am the breadwinner in the family, it really isn't an option for me NOT to work if/when I have kids.
I feel very lucky to have had a mom who was a SAHM. She was always there for us and we all turned out to be successful, happy people. Her being with us had a lot to do with that.

Nicole Barczak

I've always thought for sure I'd have to work full time when we had kids. When I had Porter I had just finished student teaching and didn't get a full time job. I stayed home with him from February to September (by the grace of God we made it by financially, how... I have no idea). I got a *very* part time job last fall at the school as a Language Arts Specialist so I work Mon-Thurs from 8:45-12. Its a perfect schedule. However, some days I feel like it would make more sense if I was working full time as Porter takes a nap all afternoon that I'm home so what would the difference be if I was working LOL!

While I think for awhile it would be great to just be a SAHM and not have to worry about getting ready for work, getting a baby ready along with myself (my biggest peeve of working!), I think after awhile I'd be stir crazy. I'm just lazy when it comes to being creative with activities for Porter to do, which makes him grumpy and bored at home. I think I'd suck as a full time SAHM. I loved being home full time until Porter was 6mos old, but once he hit toddler stage, I would much prefer to work and get the h&ll out of the house.

With all that being said, I really don't care if someone prefers to work or stay at home. I have friends that do both and I don't think differently of either.

Denise H.

I don't have any kids yet. When I do, I plan on staying home with them and doing photography part time on the side. I know a lot of working moms and a lot of stay at home moms. I don't think that one is better than the other. You do what you have to do. Some moms have to work, some moms want to work. If I had to work after we have kids I would have to make the most of it.
I see exactly where you are coming from. And think that it is Great that you have found that you are able to stay at home with your children. You seem like a Wonderful Mother!


See, I'm not torn at all. For us, daycare is the best thing - Morgan LOVES it. In fact while we were on vacation, he kept asking about going to his "big boy school". That said, I'm very, VERY picky about where he goes and while we tried home daycare (for all of a week before I pulled him), it didn't work for us, the two centers he's been in have been amazing and really embody the qualities and behaviors that we teach and enforce.

I think the difference is in Canada, we have a year off with our babies. I would not have been ready to go back to work at 6 weeks, in fact, I can't even imagine trying to do that. Getting a year off with each baby gives you enough bonding time that when it's over, while it's tough for the first week or two, both me and Morgan were ready for the change.

Honestly, I found being a SAHM WAY, WAY more exhausting than being in the work force. I loved doing it but I always felt I couldn't keep up with enough things to keep him entertained and challenged. He is a complete extrovert and very social so that meant trying to find kids to play with etc.

I have never found any competitive aspect regarding a SAHM and a WM here in Canada though - maybe it goes back to everyone getting a year off with between 55% (usual) and 93% (Fed Govt etc, which is what I get) of your pay? Gives everyone a fair chance to get to raise their babies.

Sorry about the novel! LOL

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