This week, change, and I don't mean coins in the pocket. I've recently been thinking about change and the idea of change. My dear friend Leslie does not like change. I on the other hand, love change. I love to change my hair, my house, my furniture and my clothes. My neighbor commented one day that she saw me in 4 outfits by 4pm! Funny stuff. That's not the kind of change I'm talking about. Not physical change, but psychological change. I mean the change that is hard to do, the kind where you have to change your lifestyle, mode of thinking. Is there something about yourself, or your life that you should change, or want to change, but put it off because it's easier to do that? Could you work harder on the job, but just do the minimal to stay alive? Is your marriage a little rocky and there is just too little time and energy to make it better? What about your kids? Could you spend more time with them, rather than watching tv, or surfing the net?
I know we all have something, perhaps many things we could change. I would love to have more patience with my kids. Sometimes it's just easier to get crabby and yell. I hate being like that and I don't want my kids to think of me as a screaming banchy. I want to be seen as a kind and warm person with a voice of reason. That's a lot of work and it takes a lot of energy to tackle that one.
My marriage is good, Brian and I are happy. But at times, we barely get a moment to talk because we are always busy with the kids. When we do get a moment, we are too exhausted to say anything. This is not ok with me. We are done having kids, and soon enough they will be grown enough for us to change this easily, but I don't want to wait until Bennett is 2, you know? So, the other night, I made a conscious effort to talk to him and even cuddle him! Brian will be the first to tell you that I really don't like cuddling. But, it was nice and I went to bed happy.
My last thing I really want to change about myself is my motivation. It is so easy to be lazy and not exercise. I hate that about me. I wish I had the drive to just go to the gym, but really I have to force myself. There is also the guilt factor for me. That's 2 hours I could be spending with the kids. In reality, it's just as good for them, as it is for me! I need to work out and have time to myself. They get to play with other kids and get other adult interaction at the daycare. Everyone wins.
So, if you are feeling brave and want to expose your deepest flaws (not really flaws), please go ahead and share. Either leave a comment, or post on your blog. The only thing I ask is leave me a comment so I know where to read and post a link to my blog so that others may have the chance to bare all as well! Happy Thursday all!
I'll link to other TFT'ers when they get around to "thinking" today!
Kristi on neighbors
Jenny on giving the "bump"
Jessica on culture
ahh, change. it's a good thing usually.
i think the biggest change on my mind is either work or exercise/getting in shape. i am not happy with my job situation, but i'm hoping that if i give it time, things will improve. eh. as far as getting in shape, i have started walking every night i can, however i wish i had more time to devote to it. i would love to join the workout center in town, but i don't know where i would fit it in with my schedule! argh!
i hope you are successful with your changes!
Posted by: jenny | June 05, 2008 at 07:01 PM
Nope, I don't care for change!!!! :) But, what should I change???
~I should start excercising more often. I did take Reyna for a walk last night. I need to do it more often.
~I need to stop getting online so much in the am.
~I also need to make better use of my time. In the mornings, I don't get up and shower right away. Then, I find myself scrambling around because I was doing other stuff instead of doing what I was supposed to be doing.
Okay, I think that's about it. :)
Posted by: Leslie Collins | June 05, 2008 at 11:49 AM
I go through streaks with change. Sometimes I crave it, other times I back away from it, I think it depends on if the change will lead to happiness or not. I would like to change my impulsive decision-making and be able to see the bigger picture. I have been trying to change my spending habits and have been successful so far (although having no money means no spending!)
I also have a TFT today on neighbors....
Posted by: Kristi S | June 05, 2008 at 10:44 AM
Michelle, I am with you. I welcome the little changes.....hair, clothes, etc. etc. On the otherhand, I fear big change. Right now, I would LOVE to change my job. It scares me and makes me sick to my stomach to actually do something about it. I have an easy job. When it's time to go home I am able to leave it all at work. I have flexibility. I can call whoever, whenever I want. BUT, I hate what I do and my commute is miserable. The dropping off/picking up of Thomas is all on me. Some weeks it's tougher than others. My husband constantly tries to motivate me to look else where, closer to home, to make things easier on me. But I am afraid. I have never had an "official" job interview. I got my current job in college and have worked up the latter. I make a decent salary however, I probably could do a little better. The number one thing holding me back is my nerves. I'm nervous that future employers could see right through me that I haven't had an interview. I should be focusing on other things such as the skill that I have and the inteligence that I do have. I have a lot to offer. I just can't seem to get beyond the fact that I am nervous to pieces over having to go on interviews.
Sorry to fill up so much space on your comments but people from work often check my blog and I just can't let them know that I am *starting* to work on this change.
Posted by: Mary | June 05, 2008 at 09:51 AM